And here comes 2009…

I have to upload a lot of artistic (or, at least, pseudo-artistic) things that I made the year that’s already gone. I write poetry and short prose, I compose lyrics, I take photos and I edit them etcetera… but, first of all, I write poetry. Poetry is my first love. So this is why you’ll find especially poetry here, on my DA account

I can say that 2008 was a very prolific year for me. I don’t wanna make any retrospection about it, you can make it by your own: all you have to do is to read my creations made then or, why not, my journal.

Whatever, I have a lot of wishes and expectations now, at the start of a new year, like continuing to write poetry as good as possible, writing lyrics for at least a music band (oh, don’t even think about, only for people that I know in the real world, I don’t wanna make it for money) and improving my art in general.

I’ll upload poetry almost daily, so keep watching this place!

That’s all for now. Thanks for reading it,

Raluca

*

CLUBS: , , ,

FRIENDS: , , ,

This morning I’m not going to the Romanian Olympiad. This is how five month of learning are going to pot.

The reason?

Pills. Hospitals. Pain.

Loneliness. Tears. Unsleeping nights.

Insipid food. Drinking with straws.

Fear of seeing myself in the mirror. Fear of being seen by anyone except the doctors and my parents. Fear of being called a monster.

I’m very ill. Physical and mental.

I’m suffering and a wretched apathy possessed myself.

Because every time it’s the same. And every smile it’s just a desperately way of trying to hide a black hole that starts inside and forestall a damn reality in a cruel way.

Just leave me alone…

***

Clubs:





----> My submisions:

...Lepadare: [link]
...Tablou murdar: [link]
...Funeral Statuette: [link]
...Wish: [link]
...The Mask: [link]
...Come To Me: [link]
...Arta: [link]

***

Friends & Watchers:








***

list:

1. Deviants

-> Killer Bird; Blonde vs Brunette; Hills; Abstract 1; Little Freak; Claudia II; Avort; Purple Decadence; Abstract 2; Just Paint; Hills; Just Waiting...; Divine; Angel; Blue Decadence; pale kid; pale; little girl; eye; At the Chinese Restaurant II; At The Chinese Restaurant I; innocence; yellow face; what?; forgotten memories; Smile; Funeral Statuette; Nebunie; Abstract 3; Arta; Muzica; Abstract 4; Hair Falls 1; Hair Falls 2; Hair Falls 3; Wave; I Feel I'm Loosing My Mind; 1. The Seduction: Searching...; Hair Falls 7; Hair Falls 6; Hair Falls 5; Hair Falls 4; Elegy
-> Abstract 3
-> Hills
-> Abstract 2; Just Waiting...; When Miser Meets Sky II
-> Hills
-> Abstract 1
-> Just Waiting... (in the collection Special)
-> Smile; Let It Shine; I’ll Be Your Last Illusion; Gothic; Little Flower; Me
-> Smile
-> Water Flowers
-> Demon; Elogiu Cimintirelor; HalucinatieInUmbraSinguratatii; Regrete Tarzii; Eternal Suffering; Avort; Muzica
-> Red Lips
-> Wish
-> Wish
-> I ' ll Be Your Last Illusion
-> Gothic; Wish
-> Asteptare
-> Sadism
-> - E aceeasi zi... - ; Sfarsit
-> Adulter
-> Abstract 3, Abstract 4
-> 1. The Seduction: Searching...
-> Funeral Statuette; pale kid; Water Flowers; Hills
2. Clubs

-> Wish

Thank you very much

***

Anyway, the devil it’s not so black.

My mother supports in a financial way my wish to go abroad this summer. For the first time! The only country I’ve been in it’s mine. And I’ve seen some little localities of Bulgaria last summer when I went to the seaside and return with my relatives on a less traditional route, by our own car. Big difference

Anyway. I’m going to London with my… religion teacher. You can laugh now, but I think it will be a way to become more… tolerable with the people that have an obsession for this stupid religion. And (I know the disease has get up my mind, but who cares) I’ll be glad even if this excursion will be a round of the churches and monasteries. Because they have a beautiful gothic architecture.

I’m not going to the Iron Maiden concert anymore, but who cares?

Oh, and I convinced my dad to buy me a book named ‘Orbitor’ - it means ‘Blinding’ - by Mircea Cărtărescu. It has almost 1500 pages and the author made it in 11 years. In fact, it’s a trilogy. The publishing of the last part of this trilogy it was one of the greatest literary events of our country.

I think this is all for now… I think I’m going to sleep. It’s 7:23 and I had a horrible awakening at 4:30. I was feeling my whole face and neck like a flesh. Now, after spraying my face with some dermatological thermal waters, after starting on my laptop and writing this shit and after a lot of cold tea I think I’m feeling better. But I will not say this when I’ll awake again and I’ll realize that the contest started without me being there.

I’ll survive.

Finally, I have a whole week for myself!

Even if I must prepare very much for the Romanian Olympiad (I go on the district phase) and I must learn many rules of the French grammar for passing the class (I hate French language and I hate the French teacher, that is very severe and threatened me with the second examination), even if I must repeat the subject matter at Chemistry, Physics, Geography, Mathematics and Latin and I must visit my relatives from Piteşti, even if I must spend some time with two of my best friends from the country (this because they reproached me that I forgot them and they signify a lot for me), so I will stay some days at my family house from the village, even if I desperately want to own some hair-falls, so I must made them manually (this mean a lot of time!), even if…

Damn, it’s holiday and I want to take advantage of it!

Wish me luck that all the things I propose to make to be carried out. Including the intoxication with alcohol beside my sisters, transforming the window in an exit by night and persuade my grandmother to give me money for a ticket at the great concert… Iron Maiden! They are coming in Bucharest in August and I must be there!

--

În sfarşit am o sătămână întreagă pentru mine!

Chiar dacă trebuie să mă pregătesc foarte mult pentru olimpiada de limbă română (merg la faza pe sector) şi trebuie să invăţ multe reguli ale gramaticii franceze ca să trec clasa (urăsc limba franceză şi urăsc şi profesoara, este foarte severă şi m-a ameninţat că mă lasă corijentă...), chiar dacă trebuie să-mi repet materia la chimie, fizică, geografie, matematică şi latină şi să-mi vizitez rudele din Piteşti, chiar dacă trebuie să petrec ceva timp cu două dintre cele mai bune prietene de-ale mele, care sunt de la ţară (pentru ca mi-au reproşat că le-am uitat şi ele înseamnă mult pentru mine), aşa că voi sta câteva zile la casa familiei mele de la ţară, chiar dacă sunt disperată să am nişte hair-fallsuri, aşa că trebuie să le fac manual (asta înseamnă o groază de timp!), chiar dacă...

La naiba, este vacanţă şi vreau sa profit de ea!

Uraţi-mi noroc, astfel încât toate lucrurile pe care mi le propun să se adeverească. Asta incluzând o beţie zdravănă împreună cu prietenele mele, transformarea geamului în cale de evadare din casă pe timpul nopţii şi convingerea bunicii mele să-mi dea bani pentru un bilet la marele concert... Iron Maiden! Vin în Bucureşti în august şi trebuie să fiu acolo!